A Mixture Of Sap, Corn, and Sarcasm
by mygirl389
Summary: It may be sappy, corny, and sarcastic. And Random. But I assure you, it's cute. Read & Review! For kawaii shaman chan. Oneshot, Moliver.


**A Mixture of Sap, Corn, and Sarcasm**

By **mygirl389** For my dear friend **kawaii**** shaman ****chan**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything except the plot. I don't own Miley, Destiny, Oliver, Lily, Rico's Surf Shop, Jackson, and Lee Dong Hae (anyone recognize?).

* * *

"You are so annoying, Jackson! Ugggrrhhh!" was Miley's first words when she got up from bed this morning. Hey, who could blame her? Who comes in at 3 in the morning and screams at the top of his lungs every five minutes after that!? 

"About time you got up, my _dear _sister!" said Jackson Rod Stewart emphasizing the 'dear' dramatically.

"Whatever. I'm taking the bathroom." Said Miley. She then took her clothes raced to the bathroom and locked it immediately. Jackson, on the other hand, stood there, shocked.

"MILEY! GET OUT OF THERE! IT'S MY TURN! GET OUT!" said Jackson when he came back to her senses.

"Bleh! I got in first! Didn't you think of that every five minutes since 3 am?!" says Miley with a smirk behind her voice.

"Gosh! She is SO annoying!" How ironic.

* * *

"MILEY!" came the high-pitched voice of her skater-dude of a best friend. 

"Yes, Lily? What are you shrieking about at 8 in the morning?" She got books from her locker and checked her teeth while she was talking.

"Guess what!? I set a blind date for our donut!" gushed Lily with a big grin on her face.

"Uh… I see… and what does that have to do with me?" asked Miley with studied nonchalance then banged her locker.

"Well? Aren't you going to react violently? Confess you love? Anything?!" asked the knowing voice of Lily while following Miley to homeroom.

"And why should I? Am I supposed to?" asked Miley when she stopped right in front of her homeroom.

"Yes! Everybody knows you like Oliver! No use hiding it! C'mon!" said Lily in an over-dramatic voice.

"No I do not! Who told you that?!" said Miley with a hint of desperation.

"No one! It's so obvious! The way you look at him is not the same look you give, uh, John from homeroom or Nathan from Algebra! The way you smile is so sincere when you talk to him! And when he talks with Jemma from Biology, I can totally see your eyes eating through that poor girl!"

"Well what you've been observing is totally false!" Right? Wrong! She knew exactly what her best friend was talking about. She really liked him. A lot. She felt guilty for not telling her best friend about it, but she didn't like to be humiliated. She experienced a lot of those in middle school.

**Flashback:**

_**"Really?!**__** You like Lee Do**__**ng **__**Hae, **____**the Korean dude from **__**English class?**__** My goodness, **__**Miley**__**! You are so totally impossible? He's like, so geeky! **__**Ew**__**, much!" said **__**Clarrie**__** Belle, **__**Miley's**__** so-called ex-best friend.**_

___**"What's wrong with him, **__**Clarrie**__**? I happen to think he's really cool," said **__**Miley**__** while looking down on her shoes which **__**Clarrie**__** Belle usually "borrowed-without-permission."**_

___**"**__**Ew, **____**Miley**__**, why him?**__** You should like guys like, **__**Nick or Jayson," **__**said **__**Clarrie**__** Belle while looking at her oh-so-perfectly polished nails.**_

_____**"But, he's so kind to me… No one is that kind to me,**__**" said the naïve girl with sincerity in her eyes.**_

_____**"Whatever, **__**Miley**____** You like, suck, big time! I'm telling Jennifer," said **__**Clarrie**__** Belle. Jennifer was the queen of gossip in Tennessee Middle School. Whatever you tell her, it's sure to be school news within school hours. **_

_______**When lunch time came, **__**Miley**__** was returning books to her locker. Tears were pouring down her rosy cheeks. She could literally hear everyone in the school talking about her and **__**Hae**__**. Also, **__**Hae**__** ignored her the whole day. **__**That day, **__**Miley**__** ran home crying the whole trip. **__**Clarrie**__** Belle gave up being her friend that day. The rumors that day exaggerated so much. There was a version that **__**Hae**__** proposed to her and were getting married in the Bahamas. Another was **__**Miley**__** and **__**Hae**__** actually had a child already. How weird, huh? **__**Miley**__** transferred school the next week and almost the same thing happened. She moved to Malibu afterwards.**_

_____**End Flashback**_

_____"Hello? Earth to Miley? Come back!" Lily was waving and snapping in front of her face._

_____"Huh? I'm sorry, I kind of spaced out there. What were you saying?" asked Miley with confusion._

_____"I said…he-Here comes Oliver! Hi Oliver!"_

_____"Wuh?" Miley flipped around to meet face-to-face with the one and only Oliver O. Oken. She got lost in his pools of chocolate and her face started to get warm. She tried to put hair in front of her face so she could hide the blush that was forming on her face._

_____Oliver then clears his throat and says "Uh, hi Miles, hi Lily! So, what are my cheese and jam doing? **(A/N: ****I know, random much****. w****uv**** u, jam-****sama****)"**_

_____"I have great news for you, donut! You are going on a blind date with someone from the internet also in Malibu. Her username is HMMS4evermxlibu. " By this time, Miley already went in her homeroom because she didn't want to hear the details of the date. It was just too depressing._

_____After class, she drove straight to her house and turned on her computer. She signed on to her MyMultister (so I don't steal xD) account and logged on. Her reminder button was blinking._

_____"REMINDER: DATE WITH OoOMANlvsHM215 tomorrow at 3pm. MEETING PLACE: Rico's Surf Shop."_

_____"Hey, I don't remember setting up a date. Where did this come from?"_

_____She went to the chatbox and found that the guy she was going to date was online. She struck up a conversation._

_____HMMS4evermxlibu: Hey, who r u?_

_____OoOmanlvsHM215: uhhh, hu r u?_

_____HMMS4evermxlibu: I'm Destiny. How about you?_

_____OoOmanlvsHM215: I'm Oscar._

_____HMMS4evermxlibu: hi. I don't remember setting up a date with you. How come I have one tomorrow?_

_____OoOmanlvsHM215: y r u asking moi? My friend just set this up for me. So are u stil gonna go tom?_

_____Miley thought about it first and finally replied:_

_____HMMS4evermxlibu: ok. I guess it wnt hurt. Still rico's surf shop?_

_____OoOmanlvsHM215: uhh. Can we change the rendezvous? Wat about the rock near the lighthouse? U know that?_

_____HMMS4evermxlibu: ok. I know that spot. See ya:)_

_____OoOmanlvsHM215: ok. See ya! I'll be the guy with the white hat and blue shirt._

_____HMMS4evermxlibu: I'm the gal with the rock on her hand. Haha._

_______OoOmanlvsHM215 signed out._

_______HMMS4evermxlibu signed out. _

* * *

_____  
When Saturday came, Miley woke up with a smile on her first. She thought, "I could finally find a guy who is not Oliver!" Boy, she was SO wrong._

_____When 3pm came, Miley was walking to the rock her 'blind date' told her about. This was the rock she first met Oliver who then introduced her to Lily. She then looked to the white stone on her hand which she picked up a few moments ago by the beach. She clenched the rock tightly to ease her nervousness, but it doesn't seem to relieve itself one bit. The rock came into view and it brought back memoirs._

_____**Flashback:**_

_______Miley__ roamed around Malibu checking out her new environment. She looked around and thought it was so far so good. She saw the lighthouse and became curious to see what was inside. She walked toward it, but just in front of the lighthouse, she saw a boy, most likely her age or older, lying on the sand beside a giant boulder. His eyes were close__d__, and he looked so peaceful. On the other hand, __Miley__, who was not used to seeing a guy lying on the floor, thought he was dead or was in trouble. He approached the guy and knelt down. In her panic, she shook the guy and yelled, "Hey mister?! Are you okay?! Should I get any help?!"_

_______Miley__ was about to dial 911 when the guy showed a pained expression and his eyes fluttered open. _

_______"What __the__?"__ He then looked __Miley__ who was no__w__ sheet white and said, "Are you okay?"_

_______"AHHHHH!!__ DEAD MAN TALKING!!!" screamed __Miley__ and ran away from the rock__ towards the opposite direction.__ The guy chased her, and she tried to run even faster. Being a guy, he quickly caught up to her and grabbed her arm and turned her around to face him._

_______"Listen, miss, I am not dead or in any way harmed. I am NOT a zombie. I was just dozing off there on the beach when you found me. Thanks for your concern but I am fine."_

_______"Oh," __Miley__ mouthed._

_______"Are you new here? I haven't seen you around and I've lived here since I was a young boy."_

_______"Ah, I'm originally from Tennessee, and I've moved a lot since then."_

_______"Oh, I see. I can totally hear the 'twang' in your voice. It's cute."_

_______Miley__ blushed and looked down to her shoes._

_______"Oh, I'm Oliver, by the way, Oliver Oscar __Oken__. You can just call me Ollie __Trolly__, Ollie, or just plain Oliver," Oliver said gleefully extending his hand._

_______"Oh, hi, I'm __Miley__. I prefer Oliver," __Miley__ replied with a smile and reached out to his hand and shook it._

_______"Nice meeting you."_

_______"Yeah, nice meeting you."_

_______After a few weeks, school started and __Miley__ and Oliver were both quite surprised to find themselves in the same class. They became even __closer__, and Oliver introduced __Miley__ to Lily __a __few days later. They beca__me even __closer__ ever since._

_____**End Flashback**_

* * *

_____Oliver's POV_

_____Oliver was strolling to the lighthouse and tried to take as long as possible to see if his nervousness will go away. So far, he stopped by Miley's house to find she isn't there, stopped by Lily's house also to find Lily wasn't there, bought some burritos and Coke; but nothing seems to work as he got closer to the lighthouse. When he was few meters away from the boulder, he noticed the girl who was sitting on it. He was facing her back, but he thought she was pretty. He took some time to check her out from the back._

_____When he finally gathered up enough courage to go on, he fixed his hat, approached her, and cleared his throat._

_____Miley's POV_

_____"Ehem, hey," came the voice of a guy from behind._

_____"Uh, hey you too," Miley replied without even bothering to look at him._

_____"Are you Destiny?" asked the guy at her back._

_____"Yeah. Oscar, I suppose?" Miley said finally turning to see the guy._

_____"Miley?" came Oliver's flabbergasted voice._

_____"Oliver? What are you doing here?" said Miley, also flabbergasted._

_____"YOU? YOU are my DATE?!" asked Oliver, emphasizing the 'you' and 'date'._

_____"I guess. I think this is Lily's whole plan. No wonder I don't remember setting at date up. She knows my password," said Miley after much thought. At the same time, she was also thinking, "Why didn't I think of this?! I almost forgot his middle name was Oscar! Ugh!"_

_____"Uh, Miley, I have a question. Why did you give your name as Destiny?"_

_____"It's my real name. Miley was just a nickname. Did I never tell you about that?"_

_____"No. It's really a shock."_

_____"Oh, I'm sorry," said Miley and looked down._

_____"So what now? The date must go on. I made reservations."_

_____"Yeah, I guess. Let's go then."_

* * *

_____By the time they reached the movie theater, they were already chatting and laughing._

_____"C'mon, Oliver, who reserves to eat in a movie theater?" asked Miley for the umpteenth time after laughing really hard._

_____"How many times do I have to tell you? This is not a normal movie theater. This theater serves meals inside the theater," Oliver said with a hint of desperation and amusement._

_____"But, but..." were the last words Miley said before she broke into another giggle fit. The 13th, I think._

_____When they entered the theater, they were seated on the best seats. Their food came not long after because Oliver pre-ordered. After eating, the movie started to play. _

* * *

_________In the midst of the movie: Girl Character: I'll always love you, (insert movie guy name). I hope you will remember me after you get married to her._

_____Guy Character: I will never forget you, (insert girl name). You will always have a special place in my heart. I'm sorry, but I chose her._

_____Girl and guy kisses for the last time_

_____"That was so sad," bawled Miley while walking across the beach. Oliver rolled his eyes, but deep inside, he was also really moved._

_____"Miley, that was just a movie. The actor and actress are married in real life. Happy now?" said Oliver with feigned frustration. Miley sighed and sat down on the sand. Oliver sat beside her. A moment of awkward silence passed, until Oliver spoke._

_____"So what did you think of our uh..."_

_____"Date?"_

_____"Yeah..." said Oliver blushing. He used his long bangs to cover his face._

_____"I really had fun."_

_____Another awkward silence passed, around 10 minutes of no talking._

_____"I.."_

_____"You.."_

_____Miley and Oliver tried to talk, but ended up talking at the same time._

_____"You go first," said Miley._

_____Oliver took a deep breath, virtually crossed his fingers, and started to talk._

_____"We've been friends for a long time now, best friends in fact. We shared majority of our secrets and got real close to each other. I don't know when, but all these started to change. I started noticing how pretty you were, how beautiful your eyes are, and how deep your personality was. I tried to ignore it, but it just grew stronger. You don't know how many times I fought the urge to kiss you. All I'm trying to say is..." He looked at Miley who was looking at him intently with tears in her eyes._

_____"I like you. Very much," said Oliver who looked away when he said that._

_____"But...I...you...like..." Miley gurgled. She was too shocked to say sentences that make sense. At least she was trying. She didn't want misunderstandings. Oliver then put his finger on her lips and shushed her._

_____"It's okay. Take your time," he said. Miley started crying, and Oliver just let her cry on his shoulder. Deep inside, he was horrified that she was crying, but he thought it would be best to let her cry. For now. After half an hour, she finally stopped crying and made him face her. Their faces were inches from each other._

_____"You don't know how happy I am right now. All my life, I've been rejected and humiliated for not being liked back. But now I am being liked back, I don't know what to say."_

_____"But you don't have to say anything, Miley."_

_____"What?" she tried to ask but felt Oliver's mouth crashing on hers. It was a small yet passionate kiss. She kissed back and thought, "I am very blessed. Very very blessed. Super duper blessed. Today is the most blissful day ever."_

_____Oliver pulled away to see Miley's eyes were still closed._

_____"Miles?"_

_____Her eyes finally fluttered open and she looked at him. She didn't bother to say anything when she leaned in and kissed him again. Oliver smiled into the kiss and just continued kissing. How sweet._

* * *

_____**Meanwhile...**_

_____"Where the heck are they?" Lily said with annoyance for the seventy-third time. She was in Rico's Surf Shop with Jackson._

_____"Maybe they didn't come," Jackson suggested._

_____"But they're supposed to come! Then they should confess, then kiss! Then they should get together until they grow up, then they will get married, then have twins! Ugh! WHY AREN'T THEY HERE?!" Lily complained._

_____"That was the 3rd longest ramble I've ever heard. First was Miley, then Aunt Dolly, then you. Next to you is Dad."_

_____"SHUT UP, JACKSON!" yelled Lily. She then faced the other way, crossed her arms, and put on a really irritated face. They stayed like that until Lily cooled down. After she did, Jackson said,_

_____"Lily?"_

_____"What?" asked Lily facing him._

_____"Umph!" _

* * *

_____ After Miley and Oliver finally stopped kissing they decided to go to Rico's Surf Shop._

_____"Hey, let's get some shakes.""Sure!"_

_____When they arrived, they were puzzled to see no one standing on the counter. They looked inside and were very flabbergasted to see Lily and Jackson making out._

_____"WHAT THE?! LILY?!"_

_____The End_

* * *

_____ **A/N: **Whadd'ya think? Love it? Hate it? Tell me. No harshness, but constructive criticism is accepted. No pain no gain right? Wuv you, jam jam! R&R!_

_____--Chel (**mygirl389)**_


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